This post is part of a series where I unpack the wise words of a friend and mentor. You can read more about those words here.

Sometimes people annoy me. They say or do things that just get under my skin. Yoga teachers are people. And, sometimes they say things that irk me. (Do I have to mention that they also say things that rock my world and I’m so grateful for them? Cause, of course, they do and I am!)

They open class with the most delicious invitation. “Take a deep breath in. Slowly exhale and let thoughts of your to do list, the hustle and bustle of your life, fall away. Bring your awareness fully to the present moment.”

Just typing those words I can feel my shoulders drop and my mind focus. But then they say it, that thing that really irritates me.

“Empty your mind.”

Is it just me or does this “instruction” always cause the polar opposite to happen? My mind just fills to the brim at the utterance of those three words.

“Can people really do that? What does that even mean?”

With one eye cracked open I look around the room to see what other people are doing. “Are their minds really empty?”

“What if I don’t want to empty my mind? What are you going to do to me when it’s empty?”

In a split second, I go from calmly soaking in the present moment to a brisk dip in the ocean of frustration.

At the route of my annoyance is this common misconception about the yoga mat – that it is a place where you can escape or depart from yourself. When people approach the mat this way, not only are they putting themselves at risk for injury, they are missing out on one of the best aspects of this practice.

When we step onto the padded sanctuary that is the mat, we are free to focus entirely on ourselves. Instead of disconnecting, we should be connecting. We should look for places we are subconsciously holding tension in our body. We should notice patterns that we’ve developed that hinder our health and well-being. And, we should make room for our emotions. 

When asked by a yoga teacher what to do when a student cries on the mat, Judith Lasater lovingly replied “I would suggest that you deal with your own sadness in such a way that enables you to be in the presence of someone else’s sadness without needing to push it away.”

With those words, she was validating the rightful place of emotion on the mat. She was working to build a community of yoga teachers that don’t try to push emotions out of the yoga class. She also stopped short of advising a yoga teacher to do anything more. Because, we yoga teachers can’t do the work of “dealing with” your emotions anymore than we can stretch your hamstrings for you.

I will say this though. I have discovered that by simply making room for my emotions on the mat, I am doing the lion’s share of the work of dealing with them.

So, the next time you step on your mat, take time to notice how you are feeling. Then, do your practice with awareness of those emotions.

I’d love to hear about how you make room for emotion on the mat. Have you ever cried in relaxation or practiced an angry down dog? How did you feel afterwards? Tell me all about it!

This article has 4 comments

  1. Erin Reply

    Definitely have wept on the mat! And I always feel better, albeit sleepy, afterwords.

    I have the same response when instructed to,”empty my mind.” I had a yoga instructor who suggested we envision a little tent where we could place our worries to be picked up at the end of class. This really works for me when my work to-do list creeps into my yoga time. I am acknowledging they are there but offering them a place to live while I take time for myself, something I just can’t do when someone suggests I just let the thoughts fly into the ether.

  2. Adriel @ the memos Reply

    What wise words Judith spoke. I think that applies in any relationship too (including marriage). When we make room for someone’s sadness (or other emotions) without trying to push them away (“fix” things), then we are able to be fully there with the other person. And sometimes… that’s all they really need.

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