Tough Grace
I like to think I’m pretty good at extending grace. I didn’t get mad when I found a 15-month-old AE playing with toilet paper; I laughed. I rarely get frustrated or angered when others are late to an appointment. It’s pretty easy for me to forgive and forget when someone “puts their foot in their mouth” and says something offensive. And, I completely understand when friends don’t respond to emails, phone calls or text messages.
I was feeling pretty good about all the things I so easily forgive when I settled in for Viparita Karani (legs-up-the-wall pose) a few months ago. As I was practicing the inversion, my opinion of my grace-extension abilities turned upside down right along with my body.
I became aware of the fact that these are all pretty minor mistakes (most of which I regularly commit myself). They aren’t significant wrongs, they are minor infractions, and easily of forgiven.
When I really feel wronged, when it really hurts, when someone infringes on my sense of entitlement; it is so much harder to let go and extend grace. But, the list of big mistakes I have made is long. I am entitled to nothing and yet abundantly blessed. And, I swim in an ocean of grace.
So, I am working to extend grace, especially when it’s tough, out of the abundance of grace that I have received.
Have you ever realized you aren’t as forgiving as you thought you were? What do you do to extend tough grace?
Perfect timing! Earlier today, I had someone cut me off in traffic AND give me the finger after getting into my lane. As I slammed on my brakes, I resisted the urge to blow the horn (and blow my top!). It wouldn’t have done any good, and I was just thankful that no one got hurt.
In my days as a young adult I was quick to anger with those I was close to. I tended to harbor the anger quietly and behave unjustly to them with out sharing that I felt wronged. I would slam and stomp and clank and bang whatever was in my path. I have mellowed a lot with age…..and it’s worth those extra years!!! I have become slow to anger and I no longer silently simmer. The one thing that I do notice is when I am feeling off (i.e. ill or worried or emotionally distanced), I feel that anger start to simmer up. That’s when I have to take action and pay attention to myself. And breathe. And offer extra grace and forgiveness to those I cross paths with.