One rarely thinks of writing a love letter while in the midst of some serious trust issues. But, thankfully for both of us, I received a nudge that caused me to sit down and write.
I haven’t always been good to you. In fact, at times, I’ve really abused you. For so long the greatest of my transgressions was pure neglect. I completely ignored your quiet pleas for attention, relegating your needs to the back burner of life.
But something changed three years ago didn’t it? You did something so amazing that I couldn’t help but celebrate your awesomeness. You grew a life. Then, you alone nourished that sweet babe for over 13 months!
In the last three years, I’ve finally started to treat you with the care and compassion that you so rightly deserve. And, you have returned that love tenfold – you are full to the brim with another life right now.
For the last nine months, I have so enjoyed sharing our bond with this little boy. We’ve had fun, the three of us, haven’t we? We have accomplished things together I never thought possible. More than anything, it has been so easy to marvel at you. I’m sure it felt wonderful to finally be cherished.
So, this last week must have come as a pretty devastating blow. I’ve somehow found it so hard to trust in your ability to birth this babe. I’ve been so preoccupied with the advice, suggestions and concerns of everyone around me, that I’ve somehow lost the ability to hear you.
I don’t yet know exactly how this journey will end. Will we do this, just us, without any medical intervention as we’ve been planning? Or, will you give me the sign that we need some help? Either way, I promise you, I still love you. I’m still in awe of you.
As I token of my love, I will do something for you tonight. I will choose trust. Since I can’t seem to do that on my own, I will kneel at the edge of the bed and pray for our Creator’s intervention. May He fill me with trust in you. May He remind me that He made you beautifully to do the work that lies ahead – in whatever form that takes.
May we begin our intimate dance once again!
Love and gratitude,
This is my contribution to the powerful “SheLoves” synchroblog, “A Love Letter to My Body.” Be sure to write your own. It has been healing for me; may it be so for you!
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