Today I’m sharing LM’s birth novel story. You can read Part One here.

Special thanks to my friend Elaine of www.blessyourheartphotography.com for this awesome photo of LM at 1 week old!

Somewhere around [11:30], my awesome midwife came in. She said we would see how things went for the next 12 hours. She said I should walk and do everything I could to really get things moving. She was cautiously optimistic about my chances for a successful VBAC. Then, she said she wanted to check the baby, to confirm he was head down.

As she reclined the bed back, LM’s heart rate dropped. Another nurse came rushing in and things got serious fast. The midwife and two nurses went into action – they had me turn over to my side (they thought he might be laying on his cord), put an oxygen mask on me and got ready to start an IV.

My husband and doula were behind me, so I couldn’t see their faces. I was terrified. My doula kept reminding me to breathe. The midwife tried to keep the mood light by singing (the tune was Paul Simon’s “Love Me Like a Rock,” which she said was my baby’s song). I worked hard to remain calm, but it wasn’t easy.

It took three attempts to get the IV in (my veins are great, but the nurse kept rolling them). That poking and prodding did nothing to help me relax. A second nurse was finally able to get the IV in, and LM’s heart rate was slowly improving.

Around midnight, after his heart rate was stabilized, the midwife decided to do an exam to see how dilated I was. She said I was about 3cm dilated. I fought back the tears as I realized I still had a LONG way to go. My midwife left saying that we’d give it a go and see what my body does.

The nurse told us we were waiting on a labor & delivery room that was close to the operating room, in case I needed an emergency c-section. That did little to increase my confidence.

My doula and I went into the bathroom for a little privacy (triage doesn’t provide very much of that). She gave me an awesome pep talk. She reminded me that the heart deceleration was quickly remedied when I got off my back, and that LM was not in danger. I could tell she was confident that my body would do what was needed, and her confidence was contagious.

As I came out of the bathroom, there was someone who looked vaguely familiar waiting to talk to me. She proceeded to give me a stern lecture.

“As I told you before, we call it a ‘trial of labor,’ because that’s what this is – a trial.” (In my head I’m thinking, “She told me before – who is this lady?!”)

“I’m going to give you eight hours and then we are going to do a c-section. You are only three centimeters dilated, so you really have a long way to go. But, I don’t want you off the monitors at all. No walking the halls or anything. And, let me tell you, if he has one more heart deceleration like that, I’m taking you straight in for an emergency c-section!”

At this point, I realized she was one of the OBs in my practice, but I had only met her once – at the very beginning of my pregnancy. (The general rule with my practice is, midwives do the vaginal deliveries and OBs do the surgical deliveries, and there is always one of each of them at the hospital.)

She went on. “I know you don’t want a c-section cause you have a toddler to chase around – I get it. I have 3-year-old triplets. But, it’s just not worth risking his life. Oh, and let me tell you, if the pain gets bad, you need to get an epidural. Cause if I have to rush you in for an emergency c-section and you don’t already have an epidural, I’ll have to use general anesthesia and you’ll be asleep for the birth and your husband won’t be allowed in the room. Are we all on the same page?”

Now, I realize that doesn’t sound very much like a pep talk, and I certainly wouldn’t advise giving such a lecture to a laboring woman. But, it really fired me up! Her attempt to manipulate, discourage and scare me really ticked me off, and I couldn’t wait to prove her wrong!

Shortly after her lecture, my room was finally available. As the nurse pushed me in the wheel chair, I started praying. I asked for wisdom and clarity. I rebuked fear and anxiety. And, the most amazing sense of peace just washed over me. I can’t remember another time in my life I felt closer to God.

We got to my room about [12:30], and the nurse (ignoring the OBs orders) told me I could stay off the monitors until [1:00]. I went to the bathroom and moved around the room a bit. I was so calm and relaxed, despite the growing intensity of my contractions.

When it was time to go back on the monitors, I got in a side-lying position in the bed. I began to use all the relaxation and visualization techniques I learned in both my Bradley and Hypnobirthing classes. The contractions were really intense, but I discovered I was able to remain in my “happy place” if I was still and quiet when a contraction started.

The scene in that room was amazing. The lights were dim. Hubby had made a fantastic labor “play list,” and the music was so relaxing. We had a small fan blowing a nice breeze on my face. Derek put a framed picture of AE on the table beside me, so when I occasionally opened my eyes, I saw her smiling face.

Derek and my doula were both wonderful at helping me stay physically relaxed. For about 90 minutes, I was silent, except for the occasional whispered utterance of the words “ice chips.” I was in “birthland,” as my doula calls it. Focused. Unwilling to give even a drop of energy to fear, anxiety or even complaints about the pain. I was devoting everything in me to the process.

About 2:30am, I told my doula I thought it was time to push. She later told me she was so surprised, I had been so quiet, so still – how could I be in transition already. Derek was waiting for more of the signposts they had mentioned in the Bradley class. I was a stealth birther!

The midwife came in to check me. Sure enough, I was 8 – 9 centimeters dilated! We all celebrated – even the nurse was happy for me. I took a moment to appreciate that I no longer needed to fear that c-section, my boy would soon be in my arms.

The midwife had me stand at the side of the bed, to get gravity’s assistance with the final stage. I will say, that 30 minutes of standing was tough work. I kept circling my hips, but my legs were shaking with each contraction.

By 3am, I was back in the bed and pushing. I’m so grateful for my awesome midwife. She was so empowering. She said, “I’m not going to tell you when or how long to push. Listen to your body. You will know what to do.”

After about 35 minutes of pushing, LM’s head emerged. The midwife unwrapped his “umbilical cord necklace” (as she called it), and then she said something I will never forget. Something that forever changed me. “Reach down and catch your baby!”

I grabbed him as I gave a final push. It. Was. Amazing. I pulled him to my chest. “I did it! I did it!” I exclaimed over and over as I marveled at his beauty. I spoke prayers of thanksgiving over my sweet boy as we snuggled.

From my womb, to my hands, to my chest. Pure bliss. Those are the words I use to describe my natural VBAC.

This article has 17 comments

  1. Shannon @ GrowingSlower Reply

    I am so happy that you got the birth story your heart desired! God knew exactly what you needed to hear, even if it was such harsh words from that mean OB! He’s always working everything out for good. Praise the Lord!

  2. Jennifer Hoffman Reply

    You are so right, Shannon. Up until that point, I was really fighting fear. When I heard her talking, I was so sure she was not speaking Truth. I’ve prayed for clarity many times in my life, but this time He gave it to me before I even asked. Praise Him!

  3. Nena Reply

    AMEN!! I am so happy that you had the vbac!! This is wonderful news!! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story!

  4. Dee Reply

    Jennifer, this is a beautiful story! It is actually very reminiscent for me in terms of some of the messages you got. My OB was fabulous (the doula called her the closest thing to a midwife you can get) but the first nurse I had…much like that OB who riled you up.

    You had the more “natural” conclusion. I never got past 2-3 cm. But the result was the same: a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations!

  5. Jennifer Hoffman Reply

    I’ve certainly had both conclusions, Dee- surgical and natural. And, I wouldn’t change anything about either of my births! I learned so much through both of them. Both of them reminded me of the very important truth that God blesses mothers with wisdom about how to birth their own baby. Sometimes that’s naturally, sometimes that’a with an epidural, sometimes that’s surgically. What I hope and pray for every woman is that her labor support team would be quiet enough to let her hear His leading – because making decisions from that place will start her and her baby off in peace and joy. If she is forced manipulated into ANY specific type of birth, against her own inner knowing, mama and baby will have a much more difficult start as mama will have emotional healing to do.

  6. Joye Reply

    Such a beautiful retelling. I feel so blessed to be able to hear your story. You are so full of knowledge and wisdom- I am so thankful that you have a blog to share it all!

  7. Jennifer Dinkelmeyer Reply

    Dear Jennifer,

    Your message is so clear and pure. Sweet as the beautiful blue sky. Thank for sharing your birthing experience. It will help so many.

    Love to you and your lucky family,
    Jennifer

  8. Annie Milstead Reply

    Thank you Jennifer for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I read your words and was deeply moved by your experience, such fear,resolution and joy, what a roller coaster ride for you. Such a powerful and wonderful creation of life. AE and LM are blessed to have such an incredible Mother.

  9. Katie Reply

    Jennifer! I apparently never commented on LM’s birth story, though I remember reading it. Such a beautiful one, and he is such a happy and adorable Little Man! I can’t believe how big he is!

    Re-reading it now that I’ve given birth too was interesting. T-Rex’s heart rate kept dropping when I was on my back pushing, but the nurse was so calm and reassuring about it, just having me switch to my side and keep on pushing while we waited for my OB to arrive. So thankful for the people who are blessings to us during our labors–even if it’s in unexpected ways, like the mean OB who motivated you!

  10. April Reply

    Oh my goodness! I love your story. What a beautiful picture of a mother’s determination. I’m a mother of five. I had a home birth with our fifth and it was life changing. So peaceful. Your story brought tears of joy to my eyes. Beautiful!

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