For All the Sleepy Mamas (I Salute You)
May this image move from my distant memory to my current reality…TONIGHT!
This one is for you! Yes you, the awesome mommy who has a sweet little infant at home right now. Yuppers, you the loving, worried mama who has a sick child in your arms tonight. And, I haven’t forgotten you with the teething little one, or you with the sweet babe you are trying to night wean – it’s for you superstars, too! It is for every mom who will spend more hours awake than asleep tonight.
I want you to know – I salute you! You are amazing, wonderful, dedicated, loving and nurturing. The recipient of all that goodness may not be able to thank you, so I’m doing it for them.
What you’re doing isn’t easy. The physiological effects of sleep deprivation are no joke. It is totally normal to dream that you are being interrogated and tortured by a toddler-sized spy during those 15 minutes that you actually drift off to sleep. (Oh, it’s not? You mean that’s just me?)
Out of my gratitude and respect, I offer you these survival tips. (Ok, I also hope that by giving them to you, I will dutifully employ them myself).
Don’t believe the nighttime lies. I don’t have a double-blind study or hard scientific facts, but my personal experience tells me that 99.9% of the terrifying thoughts that enter your mind at night are complete and total garbage. So, when a frightening thought creeps into your mind during the late night hours, just picture jolly old Saint Nick in your mind’s eye. And, remember those fears are about as likely to come true as it is that he slides down your chimney next year.
Bathe in grace. I’m not saying that sleep deprivation is a justification for losing your temper. But, I am saying that you are not your anger. It doesn’t define you as a mother, wife, friend or human being. It is normal to lose it a bit when you haven’t been sleeping. Give yourself oodles of grace.
Remember, this too shall pass. I may have tried saying this while clicking my heels together three times – sadly, it didn’t work (maybe I need ruby red slippers?). I don’t know exactly when AE and I will be back on track with a “normal” sleeping pattern. But, I know that it won’t be like this forever.
While I hope I’ll be sleeping soundly tonight, know that if I’m not, I’ll be thinking of you. I thank God for the loving mother you are and the fact that your attentiveness to your little one’s needs is growing a more compassionate, loving human being. I can’t think of a better way to change the world.
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What do you think?
Amen. I’m offering a 21-gun salute right now (with my thumb and index finger because the real mccoys would definitely ruin yet another night of sleep).
Comment by Derek Hoffman on January 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm
Thanks for encouraging the tired mamas with such grace.
Comment by Leah on January 2, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Thanks for this post! I have a 9-month old who pretty much just sleeps for 40 minute or 1 hour stints every night. She’s now throwing in some 2-hour periods, though! It’s exhausting, I know. Good luck!
Comment by Amy G on January 3, 2012 at 11:47 am
I. have. been. there. Jen, let me know where to deliver your medal, okay? Because I know you deserve one after 4 nights like that. (Not more than 30 minutes? That is ROUGH.)
Here’s hoping for a good night’s sleep for the both of you. And many more after that.
Comment by Anne @ Modern Mrs Darcy on January 3, 2012 at 7:54 pm
oh I needed to read this today. thank you.
Comment by Becca on January 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Thank you. It has been a battle each night since we traveled on Christmas. I have been so sleep-deprived and bordering on depression some days. It’s been very hard, but I have received so much support, especially through internet friends. I wrote about it last week, too, actually: those 3 am prayers. http://evenonesparrow.blogspot.com/2012/01/those-3-am-prayers.html
Comment by rachel @ even one sparrow on January 8, 2012 at 6:34 pm
I’m holding on to, “This too shall pass.”
My little guy is turning one next month and still likes to nursing for comfort and I just can’t say no to his sweet little face.
Comment by Emily @ Random Recycling on January 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm
[...] is a little late. (There has been sickness. There is has been exhaustion – AE is still not sleeping!) But, I’m so excited about this [...]
Pingback by A Decade of Love on January 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Rachel, Emily & Becca – I’ve been thinking of each of you the past week. Praying you are each sleeping more! Thanks so much for letting me know I’m not alone!
Comment by Jennifer Hoffman on January 15, 2012 at 9:22 pm
[...] People used to marvel at how I managed to do it all on four hours (or less) of sleep a night. The truth is, I wasn’t doing it all successfully. My body was paying the price. Of all the changes I’ve made the last few years, I believe that consistently getting eight hours a sleep a night has made the biggest difference in my health and well being. (That is why I felt I needed to salute the sleepy mamas!) [...]
Pingback by Yoga for Improved Sleep on January 24, 2012 at 7:19 am
“I am saying that you are not your anger. It doesn’t define you as a mother, wife, friend or human being.” I love this, and thank you. I’ve been appalled at my ability to fly off the handle at a moments notice lately. Just this afternoon as I drove back from the grocery store after having missed both littles’ nap times and being late for lunch (meaning a grumpy toddler and mama both) I practically had steam coming out my ears and nostrils. All over a miscommunication I had with my hubs. Actually, it was more like me being mad he couldn’t read my mind if I’m really honest. Then I felt horrible and guilty for being so quick to anger and so slow to access Grace. *tears* Like you said, it’s not about making excuses for inappropriate behavior or internal responses… but I do need to remember my state of sleeplessness and give myself the same grace I try to give my kids when THEY are overtired. No sense in trying to make myself “pay” for my mistakes after I’ve repented of them anyway, right? Here’s to the promise of better (more!) sleep soon – for all of us! Thanks again. x
Comment by Adriel @ the memos on March 30, 2012 at 8:30 am
Oh Adriel, hugs! It’s so hard to strike a balance between owning our mistakes and using them as a weapon for beating ourselves up. That place of balance is what grace is all about. Grace gives us both awareness of our mistakes AND the ability to move forward with courage and hope! (I’m more saying this to myself this morning than to you!)
Comment by Jennifer Hoffman on March 30, 2012 at 9:37 am